I don't really understand the point in this snippet, but anyways. This could just be one On Text event..

on *:TEXT:*:#: {
  if ($regex($1,/^[!@.]Wine$/Si)) && ($2) { .describe $chan 12 Gives $2 glass of wine  }
  elseif ($regex($1,/^[!.@]Slap$/Si)) $$ ($2) { .describe $chan 9 Slaps $2  }
  elseif ($regex($1,/^[!@.]Cheer$/Si)) { .describe $chan 4 Claps and giv11es Gifts,Drinks, and a gives free house to $nick   }
  elseif ($regex($1,/^[!@.]Enjoy$/Si)) { .describe $chan 13 Happy New Years! Happy Holidays $nick  }
  elseif ($regex($1,/^[!@.]TV$/Si)) && ($2) { .describe $chan 7 Gives $2 TV with 9H4D  }
  elseif ($regex($1,/^[!@.]Blue$/Si)) && ($2) { .describe $chan 12 $nick votes for blue!  }
  elseif ($regex($1,/^[!@.]SFRW$/Si)) { .describe $chan Please Stop Flooding/Spamming/Repeating.  }
  elseif ($regex($1,/^[!@.]SFR$/Si)) { .describe $chan Stop now, or you will get kicked!  }
  elseif ($regex($1,/^[!@.]I(dle)? ?O(ff|n)$/Si)) { $iif($regex($1,/^[!@.]idleon$/Si),.describe $chan $nick is now idle. ,.describe $chan $nick is now no more idle.) }
  elseif ($regex($1,/^[!@.]Food$/Si)) { .describe $chan 9 Gives $nick food.   }
  elseif ($regex($1,/^[!@.]M&M$/Si)) { .describe $chan Gives 9M4&11M to $nick  }
  elseif ($regex($1,/^[!@.]Beer$/Si)) { .describe $chan 12 Gives glass of beer    }
  elseif ($regex($1,/^[!@.]Smack$/Si)) && ($2) { .describe $chan 9 Smacks $2 $r(1,100) times    }
  elseif ($regex($1,/^[!@.]Chip(s)?$/Si)) { .describe $chan 11 Gives $nick chips   }
  elseif ($regex($1,/^[!@.]NY$/Si)) && ($2) { .describe $chan 7Happy 12N4e9w 12Y4e9a12r4s $2  }
  elseif ($regex($1,/^[!@.]Candy$/Si)) { .describe $chan Gives $nick 11c4a9n12d13y  }
  elseif ($regex($1,/^[!@.]Party$/Si)) { .describe $chan Throws 4Confetti````````12Throws Confetti`````````````````9Throws Confetti```````````````````13Throws Confetti``````````````````````````     }
  elseif ($regex($1,/^[!@.]Gum$/Si)) { .describe $chan Throws 9G4u11m to $nick  }
  elseif ($regex($1,/^[!@.]Gun$/Si)) { .describe $chan Throws ak47 to $nick Screamz:IT'S UNLIMITED AMMO!  }
  elseif ($regex($1,/^[!@.]Vodka$/Si)) { .describe $chan 12Gets vodka throws at $nick Screamz:4**9Make sure you get DRUNK AND HIGH!4**  }
}

I added the $ at the end of each command name that way the text has to be exactly what the trigger is.

Example

<User> !Smack93eu1809eruf8w9jwfj
<Bot doesn't respond>
<User> !Smack (User)
<Bot> Smacks (User) X Times!

Also added capabilities for ! @ and . triggers instead of just !.

Anyways, Good try nonetheless. :]