um b0sse i used a diff site for the Reasons It's Great to be a Guy. also i couldn't think of a trigger for it so you can replace @trigger_here with what ever you want.

on $*:text:/^@trigger_here$/iS:#: {
  if (!$hget(guy,c)) {
    if ($sock(guy)) sockclose guy
    sockopen guy www.joke-archives.com 80
    sockmark guy msg # Reasons It's Great to be a Guy $+($chr(35),$r(1,100))
  }
}
on *:sockopen:guy: {
  sockwrite -nt $sockname GET /dating/100reasonsman.html HTTP/1.1
  sockwrite -nt $sockname Host: $+($sock(guy).addr,$str($crlf,2))
}
on *:sockread:guy: {
  var %guy | sockread %guy
  if ($regex(%guy,/<P><LI>(.+)/)) {
    hinc -mu5 guy c 1
    if ($hget(guy,c) = $gettok($sock(guy).mark,3,35)) {
      $gettok($sock(guy).mark,1-,32) -- $regml(1)
      sockclose guy
    }
  }
}