A better approach would be using $istok(), flood trigger control, and $gettok() as such:

on *:text:!slap *:#: {
  if (!%f) { 
    set -u2 %f on
    if ($istok(bots name here|YourNameHere,$2,124)) { msg # but i dun wanna slap $2 }
    else { describe # $gettok($slapsmsg($2),$r(1,6),124) }
  }
}
alias -l slapsmsg {
  return leaves the mark of (PWNED) on $1 $+ 's cheek!|slaps $1 in da nootz with a catus!|$&
    $+ slaps $1 across the channel|slaps $1 with a large trout|slaps $1 with a brick|$&
    $+ rips out $1 $+ 's intestins and slaps him/her with them
}

I only put six messages at random, but you can do it in this fashion to add the rest.