on *:TEXT:*:#:{
  if ($regex($1,/^(hi|hello)$/Si)) {
    msg # $gettok(Hello $nick $+ $chr(44) how are you today?|What's up $nick $+ ?|Wazzup $nick $+ ?,$r(1,1),124)
  }
  if ($1- = What's up) {
    msg # $gettok($v2 with you?|Nothing but the sky $+ $chr(44) $nick $+ |You say $lower($v2) $+ . I say what's down.,$r(1,3),124)
  }
  if ($1 = Nothing) {
    $gettok(msg # If $v2 $+ 's up then what are you talking about?|describe # slaps $nick $qt(You're boring) :/,$r(1,2),124)
  }
  if ($1 = sad) {
    $gettok(msg # Awwwww don't be $v2 $nick $+ .|describe # pats $nick on the back $qt(Being $v2 makes you miss out on all of the good things in life.) |msg # Be the opposite of $v2 and be glad! =D|msg # You're $v2 too much $nick $+ .,$r(1,4),124)
  }
  if ($2 = $me) {
    msg # $gettok(That's my name. Don't stick a knife through it.|WHO SAID MY NAME?!?!?!|Yes $+ $chr(44) $nick $+ ?|shoots $nick $+ $chr(44) $qt(DID I SAY YOU COULD SAY MY NAME?!) |What can I help you with $nick $+ ?,$r(1,5),124)
  }
}

o.o

Ok, your life expectancy tells me that you have a lot of years and time ahead of you to see it someday.Don't forget about the big cheese fart...

Ok, your life expectancy tells me that you have a lot of years and time ahead of you to see it someday.

I'm just 14 and I don't watch much tv.....sad I know.

im only 15 and i know that show

I'm probably too young to know it.

Well, too bad. I guess you never saw that TV show...lol

I may be the only one that has no idea what you're talking about. :P

The first lesson in mirc scripting is patience, young grasshoppers. :P

epic movie, young grasshoppa!

You two reminds me of a TV show called Kung Fu in the 70s, where it starred master Po and his apprentice whom he called grasshopper.

You are true about that Ghost-writer but I learned about vars on my own. :P

im the person who taught this guy to script :|

Ghost-writer, don't be negatively cynical of other people's snippets. You should be supportive to offer your constructive criticism or positive suggestion, instead of disparaging people or being sarcastic toward them.

Ghost-writer we all started scripting by making snippets like this.

who ever rated above 5 is a failed scripter and should type //remove $mircdir right now.

That is true. If you knew regex, you would be amazed how it could minimize the chances of mistaken words in a matching situation. Actually, I've provided an example using regex a few posts above. If you tried it, you'd know what I mean.

The reason I didn't is because whenever people said: "this" and "shine" it would activate.

Why do you want to make it exclusively 'hi'? Why not: > on :TEXT:hi*:#: {

You have to say: hi. <- This won't even work, in your current code, for a period after the word hi

It's rare for people to just say the word hi without adding more words after it as a phrase. You should consider adding the wildcard strings for every one of your text event.

The problem is in the speech. It's only with the word by itself. It you say something like this: hi Vesperia. It won't respond. You have to say: hi.

It doesn't work for me for my bot some reason..

First of all, Ghost-writer, you were the one who made a suggestion using if $me isin $1-

second, that is one way to go at randomizing messages. I was basically basing my suggestion off the author's script as close as possible.

Finally, for your info, you can also use the /play command with the -r switch:

on *:TEXT:$($+(*,$me,*)):#: { .play -r # bla.txt }

The -r switch forces a single line to be chosen randomly from a file and played. One thing about using /play command is that it provides a default of 1000ms delay per trigger, unless changed otherwise.

P.S. My suggestion was pretty decent.

jethro if your gonna make a suggestion make a good one :\ tell him to use a $read(bla.txt) then write bla.txt response. less lines, possibley even one :O,

on :TEXT: $+ $me $+ *:#: { msg # $read(bla.txt) }

on *:TEXT:$($+(*,$me,*)):#: { 
  var %talk = $rand(1,5)
  if (%talk == 1) {
    msg # That's my name. Don't stick a knife through it.
  }
  if (%talk == 2) {
    msg $chan WHO SAID MY NAME?!?!?!
  }
  if (%talk == 3) {
    msg $chan Yes, $nick $+ .
  }
  if (%talk == 4) {
    describe $chan shoots $nick $+ , "DID I SAY YOU COULD SAY MY NAME?!"
  }
  if (%talk == 5) {
    msg $chan What can I help you with, $nick $+ ?
  }
}

Yeah I see the problems. But I honestly didn't know any way of fixing them and you weren't on PurpleSurge.

on :TEXT::#:{ <--- check that.
if ($me isin $1-) <--- check that
var %talk $rand(1,5) <--- check that
if (%talk == 1) msg # That's my name. Don't stick a knife through it. <-- check that
if (%talk == 2) msg $chan WHO SAID MY NAME?!?!?!
if (%talk == 3) msg $chan Yes, $nick $+ .
if (%talk == 4) describe $chan shoots $nick $+ , "DID I SAY YOU COULD SAY MY NAME?!"
if (%talk == 5) msg $chan What can I help you with, $nick $+ ?
}
lots of tiny bugs you could just fix.

1. You don't need multiple text events per trigger.
2. You don't need to use the global variables; the local ones will do.

on $*:TEXT:$(/((h)i|ello|what's up|nothing|sad| $+ $me $+ )$/iS):#: {
  var %hi = Hi $nick $+ , how are you today?|What's up $nick $+ ?|Wazzup $nick $+ ?
  var %whatsup = What's up with you?|Nothing but the sky, $nick $+ .|You say what's up. I say what's down.
  if ($regml(1) == hi) || ($regml(1) == ello) {
    msg # $gettok(%hi,$r(1,$numtok(%hi,124)),124) 
  }
  if ($regml(1) == what's up) {
    msg # $gettok(%whatsup,$r(1,$numtok(%whatsup,124)),124) 
  }
  if ($regml(1) == nothing) {
    var %nothing = $r(1,2)
    if (%nothing == 1) msg # If nothing's up then what are you talking about?
    if (%nothing == 2) describe # slaps $nick "You're boring" :/
  }
  if ($regml(1) == sad) { 
    var %sad = $r(1,4)
    if (%sad == 1) msg # Awwwww don't be sad $nick $+ .
    if (%sad == 2) describe # pats $nick on the back "Being sad makes you miss out on all of the good things in life."
    if (%sad == 3) msg # Be the opposite of sad and be glad! =D
    if (%sad == 4) msg # You're sad too much $nick $+ .
  }
  if ($regml(1) == $me) {
    var %me = $r(1,5)
    if (%me == 1) msg # That's my name. Don't stick a knife through it.
    if (%me == 2) msg # WHO SAID MY NAME?!?!?!
    if (%me == 3) msg # Yes, $nick $+ .
    if (%me == 4) describe # shoots $nick $+ , "DID I SAY YOU COULD SAY MY NAME?!"
    if (%me == 5) msg # What can I help you with, $nick $+ ?
  }
}

$r() is the same as $rand()

I know this is just something I made out of boredom.

the pandora bot is the best talker ..