Random sexual orientation messages(18+)

Platform: mIRC

Published Nov 05, 2011

Updated Nov 05, 2011

768 21

I'm a noob and made this script because i'm bored and tired of people saying gay for no reason so i made a reason lol
this is a script i made that when ever someone say gay the bot will say a diffrent level of being gay or straight each time ramdomly. not sure if alias is the best way to do this but is a simple script. CHECK BELOW for other/better ways to to this!

on *:TEXT:*gay*:#:{

  $rand( 0, 10)

}

alias 0 {

  /describe # 0. no Asexual dont wanna sleep with real women or men

}

alias 1 {

  /describe # 1. no Straight thinking only of girls not how your body or any guys looks

}

alias 2 {

  /describe # 2. no Straight but like to compare your body to other men

}

alias 3 {

  /describe # 3. no Straight but think sometimes on what would it be like to be gây

}

alias 4 {

  /describe # 4. no Straight but do gây stuff when your bored, drunk, and/or hornÿ

}

alias 5 {

  /describe # 5. no Bi but dated more girls 

}

alias 6 {

  /describe # 6. no Bi but dated more boys

}

alias 7 {

  /describe # 7. Gây but do straight stuff when your bored, drunk, and/or hornÿ

}

alias 8 {

  /describe # 8. Gây but think sometimes on what would it be like to be straight.

}

alias 9 {

  /describe # 9. Gây but like to compare your looks to a women.

}

alias 10 {

  /describe # 10. Gây thinking only of man not how women bodies or styles look

}

Comments

Alter8 - Nov 08, 2011

ahahahaha [85] :))) now this makes some sense, i`ll grab it

Respond

[85] - Nov 08, 2011

		Code 			
on *:TEXT:*!sex*:#:{
  if ($len(%MyFloodPro)) return
  var %a $r( 0, 10) 
  if (%a == 0) describe # [your pose today] missionary: Lie between her spread legs, so that you're lying on top of her and are face-to-face. While supporting your weight on your elbows or hands, insert your erect p%&@# up into her, so it's parallel to her vaginal walls. (Perfect for: First-time sex). picture: http://goo.gl/8ghCP  
  if (%a == 1) describe # [your pose today] woman astride: From woman-on-top missionary, have her draw her knees up until she's in a kneeling position, straddling your hips and sitting atop your pelvis. You get deeper penetration, a full view of the action, and can touch her c!%$ and play with her breasts. (Perfect for: Letting her dominate while maximizing your pleasure). picture: http://goo.gl/UhkGV
  if (%a == 2) describe # [your pose today] seated rear entry: While you sit on a chair or the edge of the bed, she squats down on your erect p%&@#. She controls movement and penetration, which can be quite deep and pleasurable for both of you. You're free to caress her breasts and upper body. (Perfect for: Surreptitious sex outside the bedroom). picture: http://goo.gl/1ENT3 
  if (%a == 3) describe # [your pose today] reverse cowgirl: When she's on top, encourage her to turn around and face away from you. This creates G-spot stimulation for her, and the change will help you hold out longer. (Perfect for: Learning how she likes it). picture: http://goo.gl/YJXzq
  if (%a == 4) describe # [your pose today] cross buttocks: She'll enjoy this because it stimulates the side of her vaginal walls, something she normally doesn't feel. Insert yourself into your partner in the missionary position, but lie across her pelvis, slightly askew, while still supporting your weight on your elbows. (Perfect for: All-about-her sex). picture: http://goo.gl/42uA4
  if (%a == 5) describe # [your pose today] seated wheelbarrow: This position is nearly identical to the standing wheelbarrow, except you sit in a chair or on the edge of the bed. Your movement is limited, but you have good penetration and great close-up of her rear. (Perfect for: Times when she's been wearing her butt-hugging jeans). picture: http://goo.gl/xGxAG
  if (%a == 6) describe # [your pose today] classic rear entry, kneeling:  Position yourself so you're kneeling behind her, then insert yourself and remain between her legs either upright or leaning over so your body drapes over hers. Great for deep penetration, and it allows you to hit her G-spot while stroking her c!%$, breasts, hair, and back. (Perfect for: Hitting all her hot spots). picture: http://goo.gl/MJfBC
  if (%a == 7) describe # [your pose today] shoulder holder: She rests both legs on one of your shoulders. Then slide her feet down to your chest, one foot on each of your pectoral muscles, and start her in a rocking side-to-side or up-and-down motion. You have great access to her G-spot. (Perfect for: Flexible women). picture: http://goo.gl/8sBXP
  if (%a == 8) describe # [your pose today] knees to chest: Enter her as you would in the standard missionary position, but instead of simply spreading her legs, have her lift her knees to her chest and hook her ankles over your shoulders. Support your weight on your hands. This gives you greater penetration and stimulates the back walls of her v@#$. (Perfect for: After her or him yoga class). picture: http://goo.gl/w8noV
  if (%a == 9) describe # [your pose today] downward dog: Have her lie facedown on the bed with her hips raised. (Use a pillow to allow her to last longer.) Entering her from behind, you'll be able to thrust deeper and hit the hard-to-reach pleasure zones just behind her v@#$. The snug fit will make you feel larger, too. (Perfect for: Getting her to try doggy style). picture: http://goo.gl/ST1Pc
  if (%a == 10) describe # [your pose today] spoon: The classic Sunday morning sex position, the spoon is highly romantic and allows for a slow, luxurious ride in which you're both likely to last a long time. Enter the spoon while you're both on one side, facing in the same direction. Have her draw her knees up slightly, then tuck up behind her pelvis so you can enter from behind. (Perfect for: She's sleepy, but you want to have sex). picture: http://goo.gl/zhC8K

  set -u5 %MyFloodPro %a
}
	

Respond

Alter8 - Nov 08, 2011

Respond

Jethro - Nov 08, 2011

Well, gay people need just as much loving as their straight counterpart.

Respond

powerofwhat - Nov 07, 2011

thx lol i love you guys, but not in a gay way (◕ ︿_,~)

Respond

Jethro - Nov 06, 2011

What I've tried to do say is, you tried too hard to make it appealing. For an 8-ball related snippet as such doesn't need to be complicated.

Goto has its advantages, while it gets despised by many, it works really well with 8 ball variation coding. Compared to if statements, goto doesn't require if checks for each conditions. It jumps from one point to another.

Respond

napa182 - Nov 06, 2011

lol clowns....

Respond

_Dean_ - Nov 06, 2011

its not extra stuff... if you can use isnum and $replace to avoid the repetition, i think its better, than use goto...

Respond

Jethro - Nov 06, 2011

What does the goto have to do with the benefit? It's showing people a way of achieving the final result of what this snippet is intended. A goto is pretty much a jumping point to go to a certain condition and execute it.

What you've been showing in your example, Mr. Dean, is that you're sugarcoating it with all the extra stuffs that serve no benefits and are purposeless.

Also,

Quote

on *:text:$($iif(*gay* iswm $strip($1-),$1-)):#:{

You don't need to add the dash behind the $1, the way the on text match works with $iif() doesn't actually require you to include it. if you don't believe me, try and see for yourself.

P.S. I'll quote jaytea's explanation of this matter:

Quote

the matchtext is applied to the string early on, before the remote identifiers are set up and before $1 is tokenized. this allows you to use leading, trailing or multiple consecutive spaces in your matchtext and have it remain accurate, and also saves mIRC from having to perform the extra work if the event fails to trigger.

Respond

SReject - Nov 06, 2011

and the regsubex way

		Code 			
on *:TEXT:*gay*:#:{
  if (!%Gay-Text) {
    describe # $regsubex(10. Gây thinking only of man not how women bodies or styles look.$&
      9. Gây but like to compare your looks to a women.$&
      8. Gây but think sometimes on what would it be like to be straight.$&
      7. Gây but do straight stuff when your $+(bored,$chr(44) drunk,$chr(44)) and/or hornÿ.$&
      6. no Bi but dated more boys.$&
      5. no Bi but dated more girls.$&
      4. no Straight but do gây stuff when your $+(bored,$chr(44) drunk,$chr(44)) and/or hornÿ.$&
      3. no Straight but think sometimes on what would it be like to be gây.$&
      2. no Straight but like to compare your body to other men.$&
      1. no Straight thinking only of girls not how your body or any guys looks.$&
      0. no Asexual dont wanna sleep with real women or men.,$&
      ^.*( $+ $r(0,10) $+ \.(?:.(?!\d+\.))+).*$,\t)
    inc -eu5 %Gay-Text
  }
}	

Respond

_Dean_ - Nov 06, 2011

Quote

SunnyD
*Waiting for someone to reply with an overly complicated rewrite including flood protection*

i was very sure that SunnyD was talking about you when he said that, but since he gave you a like on your comment, i dont know...

by the way, why that is so complicated, using $replace and isnum?

i used a dynamic var
in your case Jethro if someone says the word "gay" it will stop to work for the entire room,
not only for the person who did it

		Code 			
on *:text:$($iif(*gay* iswm $strip($1-),$1-)):#:{
  if ($($+(%,g,$wildsite,#),2) == 1) { return }
  inc -u5 $+(%,g,$wildsite,#) 
  var %x = $r(0,10), %y = describe # $+(%x,.)
  if (%x == 0) { %y no Asexual dont wanna sleep with real women or men }
  if (%x isnum 1-4) {
    %y no Straight $replace(%x,1,thinking only of girls not how your body or any guys looks,2,but like to compare your body to other men,3,think sometimes on what would it be like to be gây,4,but do gây stuff when your bored $chr(44) drunk $chr(44) and/or hornÿ)
  }
  if (%x isnum 5-6) { %y no Bi but dated more $replace(%x,5,girls,6,boys) }
  if (%x isnum 7-9) {
    %y Gây but $replace(%x,7,do straight stuff when your bored $chr(44) drunk $chr(44) and/or hornÿ,8,think sometimes on what would it be like to be straight.,9,like to compare your looks to a women.)
  }
  if (%x == 10) %y Gây thinking only of man not how women bodies or styles look
}
	

but i wanna know the benefits in using goto

Respond

SReject - Nov 06, 2011

Jethro, alas, I did. But it's fixed now :)

Respond

MashhitDK - Nov 06, 2011

I was bored so here's My edit ->

		Code 			
on *:TEXT:*gay*:#:{ 
  if (!%GAY-SPAM) { inc -u7 %GAY-SPAM | describe # $replacex($r(0,10),10,10. Gây thinking only of man not how women bodies or styles look,$&
      9,9. Gây but like to compare your looks to a women.,$&
      8,8. Gây but think sometimes on what would it be like to be straight.,$&
      7,7. Gây but do straight stuff when your $+(bored,$chr(44) drunk,$chr(44)) and/or hornÿ,$&
      6,6. no Bi but dated more boys,$&
      5,5. no Bi but dated more girls,$&
      4,4. no Straight but do gây stuff when your $+(bored,$chr(44) drunk,$chr(44)) and/or hornÿ,$&
      3,3. no Straight but think sometimes on what would it be like to be gây,$&
      2,2. no Straight but like to compare your body to other men,$&
      1,1. no Straight thinking only of girls not how your body or any guys looks,$&
      0,0. no Asexual dont wanna sleep with real women or men)
  }
}
	

Respond

Jethro - Nov 06, 2011

SReject, I think you may have forgotten to change all the repetitive number 3 to reflect the actual numbers from 4 to 10.

Respond

Jethro - Nov 06, 2011

Mr. Dean's hit the jackpot with what SunnyD was saying, "with an overly complicated rewrite." You set up local vars, isnum check, and then $replace()...making it all unnecessarily fancy-schmancy (in a superfluous manner if you will) and having mIRC work extra harder than it should. What you have done above outweighs any benefit if there is one. Actually there is none.

Respond

SReject - Nov 06, 2011

		Code 			
on *:TEXT:*gay*:#:{
  if ($len(%MyFloodPro)) return

  var %a $r( 0, 10) 
  if (%a == 0) describe # 0. no Asexual dont wanna sleep with real women or men
  if (%a == 1) describe # 1. no Straight thinking only of girls not how your body or any guys looks
  if (%a == 2) describe # 2. no Straight but like to compare your body to other men
  if (%a == 3) describe # 3. no Straight but think sometimes on what would it be like to be gây
  if (%a == 4) describe # 4. no Straight but do gây stuff when your bored, drunk, and/or hornÿ
  if (%a == 5) describe # 5. no Bi but dated more girls 
  if (%a == 6) describe # 6. no Bi but dated more boys
  if (%a == 7) describe # 7. Gây but do straight stuff when your bored, drunk, and/or hornÿ
  if (%a == 8) describe # 8. Gây but think sometimes on what would it be like to be straight.
  if (%a == 9) describe # 9. Gây but like to compare your looks to a women.
  if (%a == 10) describe # 10. Gây thinking only of man not how women bodies or styles look

  set -u5 %MyFloodPro %a
}	

Respond

_Dean_ - Nov 06, 2011

if you dont want too much repetition

		Code 			
alias snum {
  var %x = $r(0,10), %y = describe # $+(%x,.)
  if (%x == 0) { %y no Asexual dont wanna sleep with real women or men } 
  if (%x isnum 1-4) {
    %y no Straight $replace(%x,1,thinking only of girls not how your body or any guys looks,2,but like to compare your body to other men,3,think sometimes on what would it be like to be gây,4,but do gây stuff when your bored $chr(44) drunk $chr(44) and/or hornÿ)
  }
  if (%x isnum 5-6) { %y no Bi but dated more $replace(%x,5,girls,6,boys) }
  if (%x isnum 7-9) {
    %y Gây but $replace(%x,7,do straight stuff when your bored $chr(44) drunk $chr(44) and/or hornÿ,8,think sometimes on what would it be like to be straight.,9,like to compare your looks to a women.)
  }
  if (%x == 10) %y Gây thinking only of man not how women bodies or styles look
}
	

but i still wanna know the benefits...

Respond

Jethro - Nov 05, 2011

Use goto for this 8-ball type of snippet:

		Code 			
on *:TEXT:$($iif(*gay* iswm $strip($1),$1)):#:{
  if (!%f) {
    set -u3 %f $true
    .describe # $rsom($strip($1-))
  }
}
alias -l rsom {
  goto $rand(1,10)
  :0 | return 0. no Asexual dont wanna sleep with real women or men
  :1 | return 1. no Straight thinking only of girls not how your body or any guys looks
  :2 | return 2. no Straight but like to compare your body to other men
  :3 | return 3. no Straight but think sometimes on what would it be like to be gây
  :4 | return 4. no Straight but do gây stuff when your bored, drunk, and/or hornÿ
  :5 | return 5. no Bi but dated more girls 
  :6 | return 6. no Bi but dated more boys
  :7 | return 7. Gây but do straight stuff when your bored, drunk, and/or hornÿ
  :8 | return 8. Gây but think sometimes on what would it be like to be straight.
  :9 | return 9. Gây but like to compare your looks to a women.
  :10 | return 10. Gây thinking only of man not how women bodies or styles look
}	

I use an alias so I don't have to place the halt in each goto condition, along with a simple trigger flood protection and control codes stripped out.

Respond

powerofwhat - Nov 05, 2011

Thx sunnyd and pball those are great ideas. i will have to learn flood protection and use pball method in the furture

Respond

pball - Nov 05, 2011

how about a simple rewrite?

		Code 			
on *:TEXT:*gay*:#: {

  set -l %sayings 0. no Asexual dont wanna sleep with real women or men|1. no Straight thinking only of girls not how your body or any guys looks|2. no Straight but like to compare your body to other men|3. no Straight but think sometimes on what would it be like to be gây|4. no Straight but do gây stuff when your bored, drunk, and/or hornÿ|5. no Bi but dated more girls|6. no Bi but dated more boys|7. Gây but do straight stuff when your bored, drunk, and/or hornÿ|8. Gây but think sometimes on what would it be like to be straight.|9. Gây but like to compare your looks to a women.|10. Gây thinking only of man not how women bodies or styles look

  describe # $gettok(%sayings,$rand(1,11),124)

 }

Since you said you're new I figured I show an alternative method. This places all of the sayings into a variable with | separating them. The second part uses $gettok which gets one of the tokens (sayings). Each of the saying is called a token which is separated by | which is character 124. So the gettok command gets a random token 1 to 11 from the variable which has the tokens separated by |.

Respond

SunnyD - Nov 05, 2011

*Waiting for someone to reply with an overly complicated rewrite including flood protection*

Yes using aliases may not have been the greatest way to go about a snippet such as this, but that's for you to decide.

Long as it works. All the best.

Respond