on *:text:!cupcake *:#:{ 
  inc %cupcaked
  var %cupcake = $rand(1,3) 
  describe $chan loads up the cupcake cannon, aims and..
  if (%cupcake == 1)  .timer 1 3 msg $chan FIRES! Sending $r(1,10) cupcakes into $2 $+ 's mouth! 
  if (%cupcake == 2)  .timer 1 3 msg $chan FIRES! ... But it missed and fills $nick($chan,$r(1,$nick($chan,0))) $+ 's mouth with $r(1,100) cupcakes!
  if (%cupcake == 3)  .timer 1 3 msg $chan FIRES! ...But at the last second the cannon tilted upward, and now $r(1000,1000000) cupcakes will rain down upon us like a delicious sugary Apocalypse. 
  unset %cupcake
  var %cupcake = $rand(1,3) 
  .timer 1 6 describe $chan thinks its time for the milk hose now, so he gets it out, aims and...
  if (%cupcake == 1)  .timer 1 9 msg $chan FIRES! Sending $r(1,5) gallons of milk down $2 $+ 's gullet.
  if (%cupcake == 2)  .timer 1 9 msg $chan FIRES! ...But misses and "accidentally" drenches $nick($chan,$r(1,$nick($chan,0))) with $r(1,10) gallons of milk.
  if (%cupcake == 3)  .timer 1 9 msg $chan FIRES! ... INTO THE SKY. $r(1000,10000000) gallons of milk will rain down for days to come.
  unset %cupcake
  .timer 1 10 msg $chan Times the cupcake cannon has been used: %cupcaked $+ .
}

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