A (very) tiny IRCd connection by Vulcan. At just 3.5kb vIRCd is anything but your typical connection. It features rock solid connectivity with auto-connect, reconnect, join, nick in use change and ping-out check. Version update checker, revenge kick, auto identify and even a built in multi sock filler/flooder all in a package so small and blindingly fast and lightweight it will run on any computer system big or small without notice.

on *:socklisten:d?:{ sockaccept dl | $c(di) }
on *:sockopen:d?:{ var %s = $sockname | $e(%s,$iif(%s = du,GET $+(/v.htm http/1.1,$lf,host: %dh,$str($crlf,2)),nick %dm $lf user %du * * $+(:,%dt))) }
on *:sockread:d?:{ var %v, %s = $sockname | sockread %v | tokenize 32 %v | var %n = $mid($gettok($1,1,33),2)
  if ($istok(away join kick list mode names nick notice part privmsg quit topic who whois,$1,32)) { $e(d0,$1-)
    if ($istok(join part quit,$1,32)) { set %da $+($remove(%da,$+($chr(44),$2),$2),$iif($1 = join,$+($chr(44),$2)))) | $iif($1 = quit,$ac(d0)) }
  }
  elseif ($2 = 1) { $e(%s,join %da) | $z(%s,$mid($4-,2)) }
  elseif ($2 = 366) { .timery 1 1 y $4 }
  elseif ($2 = 433) { $e(%s,nick $+(%dm,[,$r(A,Z),]) $lf join %da) | halt }
  elseif ($2 $4 = notice :this) && (%s = d0) && (%dp) { $e(%s,nickserv identify %dp) }
  elseif ($2 $4 = kick $scid($activecid).me) { $e(%s,join $3) | .timerok 1 1 ab %s %n $mid($3,2) }
  elseif ($istok(quit part,$2,32)) && (%dm isin %n) && (%s = d0) { $iif(!%f,$e(%s,nick %dm)) | set -eu9 %f v }
  elseif ($1 = ping) { $e(%s,pong $ctime $lf join $+(%da,$chr(44),$d)) }
  elseif (%s = du) { $iif(title isin $1,$iif(%dv !isin $1-,$z(vIRC $7-10))) }
  if (%s = d0) { $e(dl,$1-) }
}
on *:start:{ $iif(%dz,halt) | unset %f | unset %d.* | unset %p.* | y | b | editbox /i $mid($d,2) | $z(%dt) | $z(nick:,%dm) | l | $iif(!$input(abort?,oyk1),$iif(%da,i)) | $iif(%dh,.timeru 1 999 sockopen du %dh 80) }
alias a { return $iif(($sock($1)) && ($sock($1).status = active),v) }
alias -l b { set %ds $iif(!%ds,$input(server,ewo,Cd,irc.koach.com),%ds) | set %dm $iif(!%dm,$input(nick,ewo,Cd,vIRC),%dm) | set %du $iif(!%du,$+(vIRC_,$r(11,99)),%du) | $iif(!%dv,set %dh thaltruistic.netfirms.com) | var %v = Cd2222 | set %dt $iif((!%dt) || ((%dv) && (%dv != %v)),$+(03,$chr(44),01[00v15IRC14d 00215.2214.203]14),%dt) | set %dv %v | set %dp $iif((%dp = $null) && ($input(identify?,y)),$input(ident,ewo,Cd,pass),$iif(%dp,%dp,0))
  if (!%da) { :b | set %da $input(join,ewo,,$+($d,$chr(44),#...)) | $iif((!%da) || (($gettok(%da,0,35) > 1) && ($chr(44) !isin %da)),goto b) }
}
alias -l c { sockclose $1 }
alias -l d { return $v(InventioN) }
alias e { $iif(($a(dl)) && $a($1),sockwrite -n $1-) | $iif($mid($1,2,1) isnum,$g($1)) }
alias -l g { set -eu222 $+(%,p.,$1) v }
alias -l h { $iif((!$sock(di)) && ($u(dl)),l) }
alias i {
  if ($1) && (!$istok($replace($remove(%da,$v),$chr(44),$chr(32)),$1,32)) { var %c = $+($chr(35),$remove($replace($gettok($1-,1,44),$chr(32),_),%,$chr(35))) | set %da $+(%da,$iif(%da,$chr(44)),%c) | $iif($a(d0),$e(d0,join %c),$o(d0)) }
  else { o }
}
alias -l l { .timerh -oi 0 9 h | $c(di) | $c(dl) | $c(d0) | socklisten di | .server $iif(($sock(*,0) > 2) && ($scon(0) >= 1),-m) localhost $sock(di).port }
alias -l m { $iif(($1) && (!$sock(di)) && ($a(dl)) && (($u($1)) || (!%p. [ $+ [ $1 ] ])),$o($1)) }
alias -l o { b
  if ($1) { var %s = $1 }
  else { var %k = 0 | while (%k < 9) { var %s = $+(d,%k) | inc %k | var %k = $iif($u(%s),9,%k) } }
  if (!%d. [ $+ [ %s ] ]) { set -eu33 $+(%,d.,%s) v | $z(%s,opening) | .timer [ $+ [ %s ] ] -oi 0 9 m %s | $c(%s) | sockopen %s %ds 6667 | $g(%s) }
}
alias -l u { return $iif((!$sock($1)) || ($sock($1).status != active),v) }
alias v { return $+($chr(35),$1) }
alias -l y { var %c = $iif($window($1),$1,status window) | $iif($window(%c).state != maximized,window -x $+(",%c,")) }
alias -l z { echo -a * $+(15,$1 14,$2-) }
alias -l ab { $iif($isalias(ok),$e($1,$ok($2,$3,$4,$5))) }
alias -l ac { .timer [ $+ [ $1 ] ] off | $c($1) }