I was bored, so I made this script. Its kinda fun :) All commands can be found in /av

NOTE: This script dosn't detect real viruses. It just chooses a random user and says something like [ANTI-VIRUS] Virus detected, not-a-noob.win16.user.

To add some basic virus types, use /firstrun alias firstrun {
write noob-type.txt not-a-noob.win16.
write noob-type.txt linux-fag.ubuntu.
write noob-type.txt iNoob.MacOsX.
write noob-type.txt sm4rt@ss.win64.
write noob-type.txt tracking-n00b.win32.
write noob-type.txt terrorist@sleepy-Binladen.Win3.11.
}

alias scan {
var %noob $read(noob-type.txt) $+ $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0)))
var %ns.chan $chan
say [ANTI-VIRUS] Scanning for noobs
.timer 1 5 msg %ns.chan [ANTI-VIRUS] Scanning done. Displaying results...
.timer 1 6 msg %ns.chan [ANTI-VIRUS] Critical infection detected: %noob
.timer 1 7 msg %ns.chan [ANTI-VIRUS] Moving noob to noob vault
.timer 1 8 write noob-vault.txt %noob
.timer 1 10 msg %ns.chan [ANTI-VIRUS] Noob succesfully moved to noob vault
}

alias patch {
inc %patch
say [ANTI-VIRUS] Checking for updates
.timer 1 2 say [ANTI-VIRUS] Update found. Downloading version 1. $+ %patch
.timer 1 5 say [ANTI-VIRUS] Downloaded patch successfully. Installing...
.timer 1 10 say [ANTI-VIRUS] Installation done. Starting scan.
.timer 1 11 scan
}

alias vault {
say [ANTI-VIRUS] Displaying content of noob vault:
play noob-vault.txt
}

alias nstype { write noob-type.txt $$1 | echo -a 3* Successfully added new noob type }

alias av {
echo -a 12* CGTNet Anti-virus 2008
echo -a 12* /scan - Scan for viruses.
echo -a 12* /patch - Download updates and patches. Also auto-scans after being updated.
echo -a 12* /vault - Show the content of virus vault.
echo -a 12* /firstrun - Use this to add some basic virus types
}