heh

I was waiting for you napa haha :P

as stated before a socket would be better then a huge txt file
you could do something like this..

on $*:text:/^!chuck$/iS:#: {
  if ($sock(chuck)) sockclose chuck
  sockopen chuck www.ninjadude.com 80
  sockmark chuck msg #
}
on *:sockopen:chuck: {
  sockwrite -nt $sockname GET /chuck-norris-facts-generator.php HTTP/1.1
  sockwrite -nt $sockname Host: $+(www.ninjadude.com,$str($crlf,2))
}
on *:sockread:chuck: {
  var %chuck | sockread %chuck
  if ($regex(%chuck,/<font.+>(.+)/)) {
    $sock(chuck).mark $regml(1)
    sockclose chuck
  }
}

or if you want to use 4q.cc web site for the chuck facts

on $*:text:/^@chuck$/iS:#: {
  if ($sock(cu)) sockclose cu
  sockopen cu 4q.cc 80
  sockmark cu msg #
}
on *:sockopen:cu: {
  sockwrite -nt $sockname GET /index.php?pid=fact&person=chuck HTTP/1.1
  sockwrite -nt $sockname Host: $+(4q.cc,$str($crlf,2))
}
on *:sockread:cu: {
  var %cu | sockread %cu
  if ($regex(%cu,/\t{3}(\w.+)<\/div>/)) {
    $sock(cu).mark $replace($regml(1),&quot;,')
    sockclose cu
  }
}

This is a very old post thez, but you would actually just need $read(chuck.txt)

on *:text:!chuck:#:{
set %chuck $rand(1,599)
msg $chan " $+ $read(chuck.txt,%chuck) $+ "
}

Save all those facts into chuck.txt

make sure it works dude cuz i couldnt get it to work either.i type !chuck and nuthin happens.i put the facts in a .txt file named jokes.txt in my Mirc folder and put on :text:!chuck:#:{ .msg $chan $iif(($2 isnum 1- $+ $lines(Jokes.txt)),$read(Jokes.txt,$2),$read(Jokes.txt)) } }

in my bots script editor and i typed typed !chuck and nuthin happened this script fails miserably.try workin on it some more.

Hah okay here i am rusty me.

$iif is kind of like an if and else combined

$iif(if statement,if true do this,if false do this)

//echo -a $iif(MountainDew == Anti,yes,no) --> no
//echo -a $iif(3 isnum 1-9,yup,no) --> yup

Oh wow talk about flood issues why not turn it into a notice kinda thing... its nice but whats up with the IFF wtf is that? isnt it if....

If some else types !chuck. On Text events are for other people, not yourself. If you would like you use it yourself, you would need to turn it into an alias or an on text event.

Well, if I follow all those steps, does that mean that any IRC channel I open will read my a fact if I type !chuck???

What do you mean \"upload\"?

Thanks for the fast replies.

I\'m an op on the channel i want to upload it to, is that enough? Or do i need to be admin?

on *:text:!chuck*:#:{ 
  msg $chan $iif(($2 isnum 1- $+ $lines(Jokes.txt)),$read(Jokes.txt,$2),$read(Jokes.txt))
}

It doesn\'t seem to be working...

Theres a bracket mismatch apparently.

Oh, well if the facts are already in the txt, then you\'re all set. Make sure you have this is your remotes though:

on *:text:!chuck*:#:{ .msg $chan $iif(($2 isnum 1- $+ $lines(Jokes.txt)),$read(Jokes.txt,$2),$read(Jokes.txt)) } }

And just have someone type !chuck

Sorry, but I got lost after step 4.

Where do I type \"/write jokes.txt | run jokes.txt\"???

And where do I paste the facts?

I\'ve got all the facts saved as jokes.txt in the mIRC folder, and added the remote.

I\'m an op in this server, is that enough to upload the script?

Waow. That\'s a lot of facts. I had my own little file, but I only saved ones that I thought were funny. :/

1) Download mIRC
2) Go to remotes (Alt+R)
3) Paste on :text:!chuck:#:{ .msg $chan $iif(($2 isnum 1- $+ $lines(Jokes.txt)),$read(Jokes.txt,$2),$read(Jokes.txt)) } } into the space
4) Close remotes and type /write jokes.txt | run jokes.txt
5) Paste all the chuck norris stuff in it and save

Aaron, you could just do $iif($read(jokes.txt,$2),$v1,$read(jokes.txt))

I\'m a bit new to this, so I need a little help.

I\'ve saved it how you said where you said, but how do i upload it to my IRC channel?

i gave it a 10/10

Hey I love it.
Can you do me a favor and make it so that theres only 1 file for this? Using the rand thing.

did you put it in your mirc file?

cant get jokes.txt to work

:((

BIG update, put in a text read

hope you liek the 700+ quotes :P

ill just leave this as is for right now, ill update it later

Would be better with a socket script connecting to chucknorrisfacts.com or better yet http://4q.cc/index.php?pid=fact&person=chuck (<--- Random CN fact)

This could be 1 line script using $read(chuck.txt) function.

upgraded it a little, read edit

Be carefull with the chuck norris snippets folks you will end up with a CNRHK to the head!!!!!!