A script I made before for my bot, which was originally a dictionary script but decided to make it give random replies on a certain word or phrase. Copy/paste to a new remote file (ALT-R -> File -> New).

Commands (Only Ops):

!xtalker (on|off) - to Enable/Disable the script
!addtalk (word):(random message) - to add a word & random message *
!deltalk (word)[:random message] - to delete a word/random message **
!findtalk (word) - to find a word in the DB
!showtalk (word|number) - to show the random messages on a word or show the word when a number is given
!counttalk - to count the # of words in the DB

() = required
[] = optional

• Current identifiers that can be used:

  = the /describe command (i.e. sings abcd...) = the bot's nick = whoever triggers the word = random nick on the channel = random number from 1-10

• If you want to add more identifiers, it's listed on the bottom of the script. Just follow the current format. If you have doubts, ask mR. Help (/help $replace).

• You can add another random message by typing the same syntax, just change the message
  ** If you supply a random message, then the random message for that word would be deleted instead of the word

*** You can also change the trigger, output command & target & even exclude channels you don't want this to work. Check the top part of the script.

**NOTE: You can also use wildcards on the word or phrase.

Changes:
1.13.2010 - identifier now works.

• Message output would now be sent via the command/target indicated on the output.com/out.to aliases.

;================================================
;  xTalker v1.01
;  Written by: xDaeMoN
;  Email: xdaemon@xdaemon.us
;  1.13.2010
;================================================

;####################### EDIT HERE #######################

alias -l trigger return !
alias -l output.com return msg
alias -l output.to return $chan
alias -l exchans return #Channel_to_exclude_1,#Channel_to_exclude_2

;####################### EVENTS #######################

On *:START: {
  hmake $tbl 100
  if ( $isfile($tbl.log) ) hload $tbl $tbl.log
}

on *:DISCONNECT: hsave -o $tbl $tbl.log
on *:EXIT: hsave -o $tbl $tbl.log

On *:ACTION:*:#: {
  var %e
  if ( %rtalker ) && ( !$istok($exchans,$chan,44) ) {
    ;tokenize 32 $strip($1-)
    if ( $hfind($tbl,$rword($1-).2,1,W) ) { 
      %e = $rtalk($hget($tbl,$v1))
      goto next
    }
    elseif ( $hget($tbl,$rword($1-).2) )  {
      %e = $rtalk($v1)
      :next
      inc $iif(!%rtalkerflood,-u60) % $+ rtalkerflood
      if ( %rtalkerflood < 5 ) $+(.timer,$cid,$chan,$tbl) 1 2 $iif(<act> == $gettok(%e,1,32), $($rword(%e).1,2),$output.com $output.to $($rword(%e).1,2))
    }
  } 
}

On *:TEXT:*:#: {
  var %e
  if ( %rtalker ) && ( !$istok($exchans,$chan,44) ) {
    ;tokenize 32 $strip($1-)
    if ( $hfind($tbl,$rword($1-).2,1,W) ) { 
      %e = $rtalk($hget($tbl,$v1))
      goto next
    }
    elseif ( $hget($tbl,$rword($1-).2) )  {
      %e = $rtalk($v1)
      :next
      inc $iif(!%rtalkerflood,-u60) % $+ rtalkerflood
      if ( %rtalkerflood < 5 ) $+(.timer,$cid,$chan,$tbl) 1 2 $iif(<act> == $gettok(%e,1,32), $($rword(%e).1,2),$output.com $output.to $($rword(%e).1,2))
    }
  } 
  if ( $nick isop $chan ) {
    if ( $1 == $trigger $+ addtalk) {
      if ( $2 ) {
        tokenize 58 $2-
        if ( $2 ) {
          var %q = $rword($1).2
          rtalk.add %q $addtok($hget($tbl,%q),$2-,157)
          $output.com $output.to ** Added random message to $+(',$rword(%q).2,') 

        }
        else $output.com $output.to Syntax: $trigger $+ addtalk <word>:<message>
      }
      else $output.com $output.to Syntax: $trigger $+ addtalk <word>:<message>
    }
    elseif ( $1 ==  $trigger $+ xtalker ) {
      set %rtalker $iif($2 == on,1,0)
      msg $chan $iif(%rtalker,Enabled,Disabled) xTalker
    }
    elseif ( $1 ==  $trigger $+ deltalk ) {
      if ( $2 ) {
        tokenize 58 $2-
        if ( $2 ) {
          if ( $hget($tbl,$rword($1).2) ) {
            var %r = $v1
            if ( $istok(%r,$2,157) ) { 
              rtalk.add $rword($1).2 $remtok(%r,$2,1,157)
              $output.com $output.to Removed $+(',$2,') from: $1
            }
            else $output.com $output.to $+(',$2,') is not listed as a message for: $1
          }
          else $output.com $output.to $+(',$1,') is not in my database.
        }
        else {
          var %w = $rword($1).2
          if ( !$hget($tbl,%w) ) $output.com $output.to $+(',%w,') is not in my database.
          else {
            hdel $tbl %w
            $output.com $output.to ** Deleted $+(',$rword(%w).2,') in the database.
          }
        }
      }
      else $output.com $output.to Syntax: ** $trigger $+ deltalk <word>[:message]
    }
    elseif ( $1 == $trigger $+ showtalk ) {
      if ( $2 isnum ) {
        if ( $2 isnum $+(1-,$hget($tbl,0).item) ) $output.com $output.to Word $+($chr(35),$2,:) $hget($tbl,$2).item
        else $output.com $output.to There is no Word $+($chr(35),$2,.) There are $hget($tbl,0).item words in my database.
      }
      else {
        var %w = $rword($2-).2
        if ( !$hget($tbl,%w) ) $output.com $output.to $+(',%w,') is not in my database.
        else $output.com $output.to $rword(%w).2 $+ : $hget($tbl,%w)
      }
      else $output.com $output.to Syntax: ** $trigger $+ showtalk <word>
    }
    elseif ( $1 == $trigger $+ findtalk ) {
      if ( $2 ) {
        var %w = $rword($2).2, %wd = $hfind($tbl,$+(*,%w,*),0,w), %wk
        if ( !$hfind($tbl,$+(*,%w,*),0,w) ) $output.com $output.to $+(',%w,') is not in my database.
        else { 
          if ( %wd < 10 ) {
            while %wd {
              %wk = $addtok(%wk,$rword($hfind($tbl,$+(*,%w,*),%wd,w)).2,157)
              dec %wd
            }
            $output.com $output.to Found $hfind($tbl,$+(*,%w,*),0,w) words: %wk
          }
          else .notice $nick Too many results. Please refine your search.
        }
      }
      else $output.com $output.to ** Syntax: $trigger $+ findtalk <word>
    }
    elseif ( $1 == $trigger $+ counttalk ) { 
      if ( $2 ) {
        if ( $2 isnum $+(1-,$hget($tbl,0).item) ) $output.com $output.to Item $chr(35) $+ $2 is $rword($hget($tbl,$2).item).2
        else $output.com $output.to There is no item $chr(35) $+ $2
      }
      else $output.com $output.to There are $hget($tbl,0).item words in my database.
    }
  }
}

;####################### ALIASES #######################

alias xtalker.version return 1.01
alias -l rtalk return $gettok($1-,$r(1,$numtok($1-,157)),157)
alias -l tbl return xTalker
alias -l tbl.log return $tbl $+ .dat
alias -l rtalk.add { hadd -m $tbl $1- | hsave -o $tbl $tbl.log }
alias -l rword { 
  if ( $prop == 1 ) return $replace($1-,<me>,$!me,<nick>,$!nick,<randnick>,$nick(#,$r(1,$nick(#,0))),<randnum1-10>,$r(1,10),<act>,describe $!output.to)
  elseif ( $prop == 2 ) { 
    if ( _ isin $1- ) return $replace($1-,_,$chr(32)) 
    else return  $replace($1-,$chr(32),_)
  }
}

;####################### EOF #######################